How I Spent My Christmas Vacation, and Other Horror Stories for Children.

C raziness. The only way to describe our holiday time. First there was the ridiculous travel: take a boda boda to the taxi park, get shoved (literally) on a bus for 5 hours, drive an hour to the shore to meet the boat, sail for two days with the strangest pair of Dutchmen (one of which we nicknamed The Prize Hog because of his unfortunate looks and Guiness worthy snoring volume), and finally ride in a dinghy to the island where we were greeted with a truly impressive array of insects, cloudy weather, a deathly ill host and no one else in site. After the island followed a string of comedic errors. I won't bore with all the details but they included many, many bugs, too many uncomfortable and infested hostel beds, a few minor panic attacks, a large bump on my head, wretching up water and a missed ride home.

H appy Birthday to me. Despite a stressful "vacation," my 22cd was a really nice day. Will woke me up with orange roses and later gave me a beautiful and funky necklace and earrings. We spent the day with our friend Kate, who was on the island with us for Christmas. I got a manicure and pedicure courtesy of Nichole (American roommate and fellow intern), made a nice dinner of shrimp linguine in a tomato garlic cream sauce, got gussied up and went out on the town to ring in the new year. Definitely the highlight of the week, sans the killer hangover the next day.

R eally having to go with the flow. Literally, on the sailboat we had to rely on the winds to take us...and of course they were on African time (taking their time) so we were stuck in the boat with just enough winds to make me queasy, for far too long. Boat cuisine? Canned sardines and pasta, with a side of protein laden fish flies. We sailed through a fresh hatch - you can't help by swallow at least a dozen an hour!
Iis for INVASION. This is apparently what I screamed to Will during the said ant attack of below. I know I can be a little dramatic but those things were eating me with their evil little pinchers. I will never picnic the same again.

S moke. Since we spent most of our holiday in Kampala, aka The Big Smoke, there was a plenty of black clouds of exhaust and burning trash to turn the stomach. But we managed to fare well enough, and we munched on a few good meals in the city, namely Thai, pizza and the occasional burger. (p.s. these are serious luxury items in Mbale!)

T ime with Will. We had plenty of quality time on the sailboat swatting lake flies, on the beach fending off spiders and by the fire avoiding the skeeters. But when we did get some alone time (that is without the insects), it was very nice. It was our first Christmas together and despite not exchanging any presents (both an attempt at a unmaterial holiday and a well-calculated budget move), we enjoyed eachother, the sunsets and laughing at our circumstances. I couldn't ask for a better person to share life with.

M issing home. I made a little promise to myself that wherever I end up over the years I'll always spring for a plane ticket home for the holidays.

A nt attack causes abnormal anxiety levels! Okay it may not have been an INVASION...but it was the scariest thing that may have ever happened to me. Those things can kill a pig and leave only its bones in 45 minutes!

S olace, in salvaging so many strange stories for the grandkids. Every time I itch my ankles I think about how I'll relay the story of the wild Christmas in Uganda and the flesh-eating anthropods to all the wide-eyed children in my future. "Tell me the one about the fat Flemish man you slept next to on the sail boat in Lake Victoria, Grandma Sarah..."

Damn, I think a good scratch is coming on again.